Day before yesterday I read Siddhartha Gigoo's book The Garden of Solitude and it left me in a deep state of identity crisis. The identity crisis was not related to my academic or professional existence but a deep genetic connection that I share with Kashmiri Pandits.
The book, a first hand account of ethnic cleansing of kashmiri pandits and their subsequent migration to Jammu and later to other parts of the country and the world made me remember my own ancestry.
The only difference being the writer of the book and the protagonist both are first generation migrants whereas I guess I am a fifteenth generation migrant if I were to put five generation in a century since my ancestors migrated from Goa. The circumstances of both Saraswat migrations are a little different,yet similar because of the sheer magnitude of that geographical shift.
The kashmir migration happened due to the terrorist threat and ethnic killing sponsored by a hostile state called Pakistan and the question of survival of the Saraswat clan of Kashmir.
The second,and the older migration happened in the 16th century arrival and colonization of Goa by Portuguese Missionaries. The migration of Gaud Saraswats from Goa happened due to the state sponsored conversion programme of Jesuits and the infamous Goan inquisition.
In both the migrations Saraswats lost their homes, relatives, property and places of worship. The migration to southern Konkan, led saraswats to start their life from scratch in the alien lands of Thaulava(now part of Karnataka) and Kerala. The migration of Kashmiri Saraswats led to their identity crisis in the alien land of dogras and now in the different parts of India and the world.
Ever since the Saraswati changed her course, so did Saraswats...until one fine day she became Guptagamini, The saraswats got divided in to what can be seen today as not just the geographic division but a cultural difference among northern and southern saraswats.
After mother goddess Saraswati remained only in their memories and not daily life they became long lost cousins. Yet the degree of similarities are not here to be missed. The migrant saraswats of Goa and Kashmir have both flourished outside their homeland just as they dominated the lands of Goa and Kashmir for centuries after first arriving there ten or twelve centuries ago from dried banks of river Saraswati.
The writer's pain in having left his home may never come close to my understanding of migration. But what led me to deep sense of identity crisis are the situations described in the book where protagonist thinks that his existence is justified only if he remembers the stories of his ancestors and goes in search of the book of ancestors written by his great grandfather. The journey he undertakes after 15 years of having left his home as a return is described as his pilgrimage to the land of his ancestors. I undertook one such piligrimage six months ago, my second trip to Goa. The first one two years ago being just a visit to some temples...The second was special and will always remain in my memory as I made a biker expedition to Goa in the exact route in which my ancestors walked away with tears empty handed..except their Kuladevatas on their heads thinking the way will be shown by Lord.
I experienced a sense of nostalgia in that pilgrimage when I walked on the lands where my ancestors once lived and in the temples where they prayed. It was a journey back home. The Divaddi island and Pornethirth where 30000 people used to have sacred bath once a year...or the Mahadeva temple in reserve forest which was once the mark of Kadamba domination...As one line from Siddhartha Gigoo's book says Pandits come back to visit thier homeland yet they stay in hotel rooms as they don't have permanent homes left anymore....I too like many Konkani Saraswats went to Goa on a piligrimage staying in a hotel room instead of a home....as I am also a migrant without a home in his homeland.
I call Karnataka my home and so do people who were born and brought up in a place associate themselves with the place of their birth. But what comes back to haunt is the question of identity that was once forcefully changed by Portuguese...I don't have any ill will towards some of the descendants of Portuguese among today''s Goans...as these people belong to India as much as I do. I had a sense of brotherhood with Siddhartha Gigoo when the protagonist does not fight to take a revenge on the Muslims but wishes that no one forgets the stories of his ancestors and recognizes the plight of migrant Pandits and help them go back to their homes.
I don't know if the wishes of Pandits will ever come true as it took 500 years for their cousins down south to come back to prominence in the land of ancestors when after independence the saraswats of Goa again started to play dominant role in Goan society. Much of the temples have been built with more glory than what once existed and God has not left them as per their belief.
I wish the Kashmir scenario soon turns out to be similar to what post independent Goa turned out for Saraswats as they rightfully dominate goan society today.
The question is not whether Pandits come to prominence again in Kashmir or Gaud Saraswats remain the dominant community of Goa.....It is whether the next generation remembers the story of anncestors....as told by a father to children....The memory of ancestors must remain...no matter where we go or what we become....as our existence today is solely the result of the pains and sacrifices of our ancestors.....
The book, a first hand account of ethnic cleansing of kashmiri pandits and their subsequent migration to Jammu and later to other parts of the country and the world made me remember my own ancestry.
The only difference being the writer of the book and the protagonist both are first generation migrants whereas I guess I am a fifteenth generation migrant if I were to put five generation in a century since my ancestors migrated from Goa. The circumstances of both Saraswat migrations are a little different,yet similar because of the sheer magnitude of that geographical shift.
The kashmir migration happened due to the terrorist threat and ethnic killing sponsored by a hostile state called Pakistan and the question of survival of the Saraswat clan of Kashmir.
The second,and the older migration happened in the 16th century arrival and colonization of Goa by Portuguese Missionaries. The migration of Gaud Saraswats from Goa happened due to the state sponsored conversion programme of Jesuits and the infamous Goan inquisition.
In both the migrations Saraswats lost their homes, relatives, property and places of worship. The migration to southern Konkan, led saraswats to start their life from scratch in the alien lands of Thaulava(now part of Karnataka) and Kerala. The migration of Kashmiri Saraswats led to their identity crisis in the alien land of dogras and now in the different parts of India and the world.
Ever since the Saraswati changed her course, so did Saraswats...until one fine day she became Guptagamini, The saraswats got divided in to what can be seen today as not just the geographic division but a cultural difference among northern and southern saraswats.
After mother goddess Saraswati remained only in their memories and not daily life they became long lost cousins. Yet the degree of similarities are not here to be missed. The migrant saraswats of Goa and Kashmir have both flourished outside their homeland just as they dominated the lands of Goa and Kashmir for centuries after first arriving there ten or twelve centuries ago from dried banks of river Saraswati.
The writer's pain in having left his home may never come close to my understanding of migration. But what led me to deep sense of identity crisis are the situations described in the book where protagonist thinks that his existence is justified only if he remembers the stories of his ancestors and goes in search of the book of ancestors written by his great grandfather. The journey he undertakes after 15 years of having left his home as a return is described as his pilgrimage to the land of his ancestors. I undertook one such piligrimage six months ago, my second trip to Goa. The first one two years ago being just a visit to some temples...The second was special and will always remain in my memory as I made a biker expedition to Goa in the exact route in which my ancestors walked away with tears empty handed..except their Kuladevatas on their heads thinking the way will be shown by Lord.
I experienced a sense of nostalgia in that pilgrimage when I walked on the lands where my ancestors once lived and in the temples where they prayed. It was a journey back home. The Divaddi island and Pornethirth where 30000 people used to have sacred bath once a year...or the Mahadeva temple in reserve forest which was once the mark of Kadamba domination...As one line from Siddhartha Gigoo's book says Pandits come back to visit thier homeland yet they stay in hotel rooms as they don't have permanent homes left anymore....I too like many Konkani Saraswats went to Goa on a piligrimage staying in a hotel room instead of a home....as I am also a migrant without a home in his homeland.
I call Karnataka my home and so do people who were born and brought up in a place associate themselves with the place of their birth. But what comes back to haunt is the question of identity that was once forcefully changed by Portuguese...I don't have any ill will towards some of the descendants of Portuguese among today''s Goans...as these people belong to India as much as I do. I had a sense of brotherhood with Siddhartha Gigoo when the protagonist does not fight to take a revenge on the Muslims but wishes that no one forgets the stories of his ancestors and recognizes the plight of migrant Pandits and help them go back to their homes.
I don't know if the wishes of Pandits will ever come true as it took 500 years for their cousins down south to come back to prominence in the land of ancestors when after independence the saraswats of Goa again started to play dominant role in Goan society. Much of the temples have been built with more glory than what once existed and God has not left them as per their belief.
I wish the Kashmir scenario soon turns out to be similar to what post independent Goa turned out for Saraswats as they rightfully dominate goan society today.
The question is not whether Pandits come to prominence again in Kashmir or Gaud Saraswats remain the dominant community of Goa.....It is whether the next generation remembers the story of anncestors....as told by a father to children....The memory of ancestors must remain...no matter where we go or what we become....as our existence today is solely the result of the pains and sacrifices of our ancestors.....
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